Adventures in Pinterest Fails: Super Smooth Legs

Let me begin by saying that I live in a desert. Anything that helps hydrate skin is welcome, because my skin is not what it used to be. I also loathe shaving. Killing two birds with one stone seems like a no brainer.

I was relaxing with a yummy Snapshot beer by New Belgium and looking at health and fitness pins (yes, I realize what I just wrote) when I came across a pin touting the smoothest legs. It’s pretty much summer here now and my legs need serious help. I also figured I deserved a relaxing bath for Mother’s Day so I whipped up a batch and lit some sandalwood incense.

Super Smooth Legs

The recipe goes something like this … 1/2 cup of coconut oil, 1 1/4 cup sugar, and 3 Tbsp of lemon juice. The directions say to apply, shave, apply again, shave again.

It tastes amazing, and coconut oil is really good at moisturizing (which I knew).

I started with my lower left leg. Not too bad. By the second round of shaving I decided that I might only do one pass on each section. It’s pretty time consuming. 1/4 of the incense was gone by the time I finished my lower left leg.

I question the use of lemon juice. I cut myself shaving every time without fail. Lemon juice and cuts sucks.

Moved on to lower right leg. Only made one pass. At this point I start to wonder about all the melted coconut oil in the tub. My legs were pretty smooth.

Upper left leg. I’m a little concerned about sugar being in such close proximity to girly bits. Sugar and girly bits just don’t mix.

By now more than half the incense is gone. I’ve been forced to stand to properly apply the scrub to my upper legs, and it dawned on me just how fucking slippery the tub was. Regret was setting in.

Upper right leg. At this point I think Helen Keller could have done a better job with a straight razor. My right kneecap was bleeding pretty badly, and of course lemon juice. I was sliding around the tub attempting to not fall. Dropped the razor a few times, and spilled at least 2-3 tablespoons of the scrub right into the tub. It was like the Exxon Valdez in my tub. At that point I said fuck it and gave up.

I drained the tub, poured a 1/4 cup of shampoo in and tried to break up some of the coconut oil. There was sugar all over me. I jumped out to grab the blue sponge scrubber from my cleaning supplies tucked behind the toilet. Tried to scrub with that, and may have tried to scrub myself a bit too. Rinsed myself and the tub off and got out. It still looked like a greased pan, so I grabbed the bleach spray and scrubbed some more.

I apologized in advance to David and issued a warning about his shower in the morning. I really don’t want to be responsible for him nearly falling in the shower ………… again.

Sure, my legs feel softer, but I could shave like normal and then put some coconut oil on afterwards and get the same results. Because to be honest I don’t want to have to scrub my tub like that every time, or spend nearly an hour shaving.

This endeavour officially takes the #1 spot on the “Beauty Tricks I Regret Trying” beating out attempting to do OCM on my back, because there was WAY more oil involved this time around.